The year is 2012. I've just come home from school where a volleyball hit me in the face in third period gym class, and the girl I have a crush on just told me I'd be the "best friend she'd ever have". I come home, look at my chubby, pimple covered, face in the mirror and wonder if this day could get any worse... and then I remember.
The Knicks play tonight. That's right... the New York Knickerbockers. The team that has effectively ripped my heart out each and every year, and they've lost 11 of their last 13 games.
So the answer is yes. My day can, and will, get a lot worse.
The Knicks took to the court to play the Brooklyn Nets in an affair that I thought would end in the culmination of another "worst day of my life".
Then, something incredible happened, and it only took 36 minutes. That's it. Thirty-six minutes. That's the amount of time Jeremy Lin played to tally 25 points, seven assists, and five rebounds in a 99-92 win, and put my hope back into the Kicks season.
See... I've always been someone that "believes the hype". I thought that the Plain White T's would be best band of our generation, and that Johnny Manziel would win a Super Bowl.
So it's safe to say that when Jeremy Lin took off, I was on that plane long before it left the runway.
It just kept piling up! A 23 point performance in a win over the Wizards, a 38 point performance over Kobe Bryant and the Lakers, and who could forget the game-winning three point shot over Jose Calderon.
It didn't seem like it was ever going to end. I ordered a Jeremy Lin jersey, and got tickets to see the Knicks take on the Pistons.
I was all in... but like all good things, Linsanity had to come to an end. The thing is, Linsanity didn't just come to an end for me... it lit up in flames sort of like that GIF with the dog sitting in a fire.
Yeah, that one.
Let's start with the jersey order. Seems simple enough, right? You click on the jersey, you hit the "order" button, then you checkout with your card information.
As GEICO would say, "It's so easy, a caveman could do it."
That's what I thought, until I got charged on my debit card for ordering 14 jerseys.
I don't think you read that like I said it, so here it is in all caps.
I GOT CHARGED ON MY DEBIT CARD FOR ORDERING 14 JERSEYS.
It was a $309 charge to my account, but I guess that's what I deserve for ordering jerseys from a website called www.chinawholesalejersey.com. So I spent the next two weeks trying to sell knockoff Jeremy Lin jerseys out of my locker at school.
I was actually close to breaking even on my initial $309 hole, that is, until the principal found out. Turns out it's illegal to sell goods on school grounds without school permission, so I got detention.
It was the only detention I ever got in high school.
Weeks wore on, and Linsanity started to die, but I truly believed that it was a slump. I thought Jeremy Lin was an elite NBA player... after all, this is the guy who went toe-to-toe with Hall of Famer Kobe Bryant and won the battle.
He was ready to get back on his throne as the NBA's best young talent, and what better way to do it than against the struggling Detroit Pistons on March 24th. I hopped on a train from Secaucus Junction to Penn Station, climbed to my seat in the nosebleeds of Madison Square Garden, and got ready to watch my favorite player torch the Pistons.
Lin had 13 points, three assists, and three rebounds. He was trending in the right direction to get back on track, and then, it happened.
The Knicks announced a week later that Lin would undergo season-ending knee surgery from an injury suffered in the game against the Pistons.
That's right, after all of that, Lin got hurt in the game that I went to.
So let's recap, shall we?
After Jeremy Lin's breakout performance I accrued a couple hundred dollars of debt, my only detention in my high school career, and was apparently the bad luck that brought about the knee injury that would end Lin's time with the Knicks.
So now think about how much you can do in 36 minutes. You can watch an episode of The Office, or even play Candy Crush 36 times.
For me, it only took Jeremy Lin 36 minutes to set up the month that almost ruined my life.